When days are dark

And the walls laughed at her and said she couldn't do it. They scratched at her, poked her and ridiculed her, they pulled her hair. Bruised, bleeding, tears forcing clean paths down her cheeks, she sat down in front of the walls and held her head in her arms. Helplessness carressed her aching limbs and self doubt wiped her bloodied forehead. By her hair they picked her up, until her feet hung limp above the floor. The air drew cold and thin. Clouds circled her eyes and she could no longer see. Time hung suspended from droplets in the air. And then she fell.

The Welcome Home Workshop

So, I was fortunate to grab a last minute place on The Welcome Home Workshop run by the wonderful Emma Case and Pete Smythe of 'Emma Case Photography'. I was less fortunate to be suffering from a sick bug on the day, but nothing was going to keep me away, so I dragged myself onto the train at 7am, feeling like death, and not sure if I would make it to North London, let alone through the day!

3 huge hugs later (Lee, Dawn, Emma) and I was sat on a comfy sofa sipping hot tea and drinking in the awesome surroundings of ‘Belt Craft Studios’. (I stuck a business card in my pocket as I know we have a couple of potential band shoots coming up – ha!).

Our base for the day - all hail the comfy sofas!

I really had no idea what to expect, having never been on a photography workshop before, and being what felt like the least experienced photographer on the block. I had visions (and nightmares) of everyone cooing over their amazing work and websites – I had checked out some people’s awesomeness and was feeling a bit, well crap. However, I was surprised to find myself engaging in conversations with all these people that I admired and respected for where they were in the industry, talking shop, and holding my own! I also realised that there were a few people starting out like me, and a few teachers and ex-teachers – with similar disillusionments as myself! Within the first 10 minutes, I was happy and putting my insecurities on ice…for a while at least.

Emma started with her hi-story. Knowing she didn’t start taking pictures before she could walk was refreshing.  Getting to know her through this process, I began to make connections with what I knew about her from her website – funny that...

I’m not going to give the whole day away, as you just have to go do it. And what you get out of it very personal, I’m pretty sure that was one of Emma’s original intentions ;)

Emma gave me the beginning I needed to start my journey towards photography.  I knew she was the one to do this, which was why getting on her workshop was so important to me, despite not having the money, pleading with my better half, not knowing what I was doing – and being sick – literally! I knew there was a path I needed to walk, and I knew Emma would show me where it was. She did.

Thank you Emma.

What next? I’m ‘Walking!’: Thinking. Taking photos. Writing. Talking. This blog is my beginning, and as I walk further and further, I look forward to the things I will love, the people I will laugh with, and places I will call ‘home’.

Many thanks to Blanca and Neil for their awesomeness in these photos x

The lovely Paula Broome - look her up, she's ace!

Fairground - wohooo!

I love fairgrounds! Playing the shooting games - you know, with the old guy that squirts water at you; winning a goldfish; going on all the scary rides, even though they scare the s**t out of me and I spend the entire ride screaming at the top of my lungs (and defeaning G!).

Bridesmaids, Brighton and my beautiful sister

Only just got this roll of film processed, it's from my Zenit E, but must be nearly 6 months old as G and I are married now, and sister is trying on her bridesmaids dress in some of the photos!

My maid of honour! 

Pretty feet! The red light leak is only on these two photos, I don't know why. I quite light the showbiz spotlight effect on her feet, shame about the full length shot though.

Bubbles

Love this. Wish I had recorded the settings I used so I could repeat the effect. Note to self - note down shot settings!

Victoriana

The colours and the clarity are cool (when I get the focus and dof right!), a big improvement on the first roll. It's the first time I took it out and about, and daylight seems to make quite a difference to the picture quality. I also got this roll developed by a little camera shop in Canterbury rather than Jessops. I think I'll take my next roll back there.

Got my second roll of 120 from the banner being developed, I hope I managed to get a few shots from my wedding on that, but as I am only just beginning to learn about film, who knows!

Lomography - first photos from the Banner

My very first photos from my Banner!

Suffice to say, this was 'an experiment', I am by no means an analogue 'expert', I have never used this camera before now, and it did not come with instructions!

Consequently, out of the 12 frames on the film: 3 did not expose; 4 were so under-exposed I could see only a variety of shades of black; 4 were double exposures - where I forgot to wind the film on! And one was, well ok, but out of focus...I have a feeling, 'out of focus' may come as standard.

Check out my 3 favourites below; 2 double exposures (Gareth is in there somewhere) and one shot of Canterbury hight street, which I love.

Off to buy so,e more 10 film and have another go...

Everybody starts somewhere

Disparities in Clarities

Disparities in Clarities,
The bushes and the trees,
Are the armies which defend
The meeting of my needs.

Indiscrepancies
In things that please,
Are meant to come in threes
But today the relentless assault
Has brought me to my knees!

Lomography

Whilst the winter months trudge on and the wedding season lulls, I have begun to explore my ever growing collection of old film cameras. I began scouring ebay about 6  months ago for an old, film camera to play with and now I have 4! I have never collected anything before, and I hate clutter - I hope this is not the start of something!
What I have started is a sizzling interest in something called 'Lomography'. And,  after a bit of Internet research, I have discovered that I am not alone...
Lomography is  a  name given to photography using old, film cameras from the 1980's and before, which give the faded, colour distorted, slightly blurry, light leaked results that Lomographers love - the weirder the better in my eyes!http://www.lomography.com/about


I have always loved the whimsical feeling of old family photos from the 70s, perhaps this is the link to the days of childhood, the long, hot summer holidays in the Kent countryside, (OK, 80s for me, I'm a little younger than that). I love photos with the  yellow tones of summer, lens flare, destaurated. I can see why I like the effect of Lomo photography.

I first purchased a Polaroid Supercolour 656, with no idea about polaroids, or the lack of film (polaroid stopped making film for these cameras a few years ago), or how expensive it is! I soon realised that this was not going to be a camera a used a lot.


Next I bought a Banner, a cheap, Japanese version of the earlier Diana model. It is plastic, badly made, primitive (shutter speed = hold the shutter button down), and I really wanted
to play with one. It gives interesting photos as the badly made body leaks light onto the unprocessed film. The film it takes is 120, the photos are square, and there is no indication that you have taken a photo (besides the upside down numbers on the film). I am currently awaiting the return of my first real of film and I am very excited :)
This is the thing about Lomo; it takes time. There is no, 'click and check', although I was checking the non-existent screen at first! And the time does two things. With my banner - it creates anticipation and excitement awaiting the return of the processed film. The second thing time does, is that it makes you think...

My most recent (and I must admit, impulse) purchase is a Zenit E. This a Russian built camera from the late 1960s. It took me anafternoon to work out how to use it and now I am hooked. I love it and I haven't finished the first film yet! (I saw an older gentleman guest at our latest wedding using the exact same camera!) It has a light meter, aperture and shutter speed settings, it is a goliath compared to the banner! And it makes me think. I can't shoot, check and shoot again if I'm not happy. I have to to take my time, get the settings, composition exactly right, rethink, check...this is a pondered process. I cannot imagine shooting a wedding with it! My hat goes off to all those professionasl shooting film all those years ago!
Just heard my film is back (from Germany!), watch this space, I'll upload my first attempts from the Banner shortly.